Christmas Party - thanks again, Rich
Unless you've had to organize something for a huge group of people, you might not appreciate this quite as much as some of us.
Please read all the way to the end (for maximum entertainment value).
FROM: Pauline Lewis, Human Resources Director
TO: All Employees
DATE: 4th November
RE: Christmas Party
I'm happy to inform you that the company Christmas Party will take
place on December 23rd, starting at noon in the private function room
at the Grill House. There will be a cash bar and plenty of drinks!
We'll have a small band playing traditional carols...please feel free
to sing along.
And don't be surprised if the Managing Director shows up dressed as
Santa Claus! A Christmas tree will be lit at 1:00 p.m.
Exchange of gifts among employees can be done at that time; however,
no gift should be over $10.00 to make the giving of gifts easy for
everyone's pockets.
This gathering is only for employees! The Managing Director will make
a special announcement at the Party.
Merry Christmas to you and your Family.
Pauline
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
FROM: Pauline Lewis, Human Resources Director
TO: All Employees
DATE: 5th November
RE: Holiday Party
In no way was yesterday's memo intended to exclude our Jewish employees.
We recognize that Hanukkah is an important holiday, which often
coincides with Christmas, though unfortunately not this year.
However, from now on we're calling it our 'Holiday Party'. The same
policy applies to any other employees who are not Christians. There
will be no Christmas tree or Christmas carols sung. We will have other
types of music for your enjoyment.
Happy now?
Happy Holidays to you and your family,
Pauline.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
FROM; Pauline Lewis, Human Resources Director
TO: All Employees
DATE: 6th November
RE: Holiday Party
Regarding the note I received from a member of Alcoholics Anonymous
requesting a non-drinking table... you didn't sign your name. I'm
happy to accommodate this request, but if I put a sign on a table that
reads, 'AA Only', you wouldn't be anonymous anymore!!!! How am I supposed to
handle this? Somebody?
Forget about the gift exchange. No gift exchange allowed now since the
Union officials feel that $10.00 is too much money and Management
believe $10.00 is a little cheap.
NO GIFT EXCHANGE WILL BE ALLOWED.
Pauline.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
FROM: Pauline Lewis, Human Resources Director
TO: All Employees
DATE: 7th November
RE: Holiday Party
What a diverse group we are! I had no idea that December 20th begins
the Muslim holy month of Ramadan, which forbids eating and drinking
during daylight hours. There goes the party! Seriously, we can
appreciate how a luncheon at this time of year does not accommodate our
Muslim employees' beliefs. Perhaps the Grill House can hold off on serving your meal
until the end of the party - or else package everything up for you to
take home in a little foil doggy bag. Will that work?
Meanwhile, I've arranged for members of Weight Watchers to sit farthest
from the dessert buffet; pregnant women will get the table closest
to the toilets; Gays are allowed to sit with each other; Lesbians do not
have to sit with gay men; each will have their own table.
Yes, there will be flower arrangements for the gay men's table, too.
To the person asking permission to cross dress - no cross dressing
allowed.
We will have booster seats for short people. Low fat food will be
available for those on a diet. We cannot control the salt used in the
food. We suggest those people with high blood pressure taste the food
first.
There will be fresh fruits as dessert for Diabetics; the restaurant
cannot supply 'No Sugar' desserts. Sorry!
Did I miss anything?!?!?!?!?!
Pauline.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
FROM: Pauline Lewis, Human Resources Director
TO: All F****** Employees
DATE: 8 November
RE: The ******** Holiday Party.
Vegetarian pricks! I've had it with you people!!! We're going to keep
this party at the Grill House whether you like it or not, so you can
sit quietly at the table furthest from the 'grill of death', as you so
quaintly put it. You'll get your f****** salad bar, including organic
tomatoes, but you know tomatoes have feeling, too. They scream when
you slice them.
I've heard them scream. I'm hearing them scream right NOW!!
Hope you all have a rotten holiday ! Drink, drive, and die!
The Bitch from HELL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
FROM: John Bishop - Acting Human Resources Director
DATE: 9th November
RE: Pauline Lewis and Holiday Party
I'm sure I speak for all of us in wishing Pauline Lewis a speedy
recovery, and I'll continue to forward your cards to her.
In the meantime, Management has decided to cancel our Holiday Party and
instead, give everyone the afternoon of the 23rd December off with full
pay.
10 Comments:
While servicing a customer yesterday, I found a letter on the ground near his mail box. I walked it up to the house, along with a calender schedule he was to receive from me. As I turned to leave, he said "Thank You, have a nice week en.....". Realizing it was only Wednesday, he stopped short and fumbled the end of the phrase and also fumbled his words, trying to wish me a nice day. Then decided to wish me "Happy Holidays". I bailed him out! I turned and faced him and with a smile said "Merry Christmas". With a big smile on his face he said "Yes, you're right, Merry Christmas"
I dropped off a large box of toys, we collected at work for Toys for Tots. The young Marine that helped unload them also said to me "Happy Holidays" as I turned to leave. I couldn't help myself, I had to correct him. I turned and said to him "No, it's, Merry Christmas". He got a big smile on his face and replied "Merry Christmas".
If you have shelved this greeting, in the interest of being "politically correct", pull it off the shelf and begin to use it again. There are more of us than there are of "them" in this country.
MERRY CHRISTMAS AND GOD BLESS YOU
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For all of you who prefer the greeting of Happy Holidays over Merry Christmas - you might want to avoid this particular blog just like I do when the subject involves something I don't practice - like drinking beer, loud RAP music, watching reality shows, and casual sex (whoa, wait a minute) - oh well, uhmmm, you get my drift.
Sheri Dyer Shoff emailed me a You Tube link a few days ago and it goes right along with this subject matter... so, I've forwarded Sheri's link to all the classmates.
Enjoy!
Hopefully, the lack of response on this blog is due to noone viewing it, rather than being offended by my post.
MERRY CHRISTMAS
NOT Polically Correct
Richard Hendrix
I like the way you think Rich!!! My sentiments exactally!
When I read the HR peice I thought to myself. "Gee, I think I have worked there". MERRY CHRISTMAS EVERYONE!
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The word holiday originally meant "holy day". So I guess how happy holidays is interpreted depends on who you say it to. Merry Christmas and Happy Holy Day.
Now I didn't know that, Helen. Thanks for sharing.
MERRY CHRISTMAS
Merry Christmas, Happy Holy Day, Happy Holly Day, and....well....Merry Everything!Hope this season and the new year bring all of you all things wonderful!!
Yeah!!.....What Rene said.....;-)
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