Wednesday, August 01, 2007

The New Alphabet

A is for apple, and B is for boat,
> That used to be right, but now it won't float!
> Age before beauty is what we once said,
> But let's be a bit more realistic instead,

> Now
> The Alphabet

> A's for arthritis;
> B's the bad back,
> C's the chest pains,
> perhaps car-d-iac?
> D is for dental decay and decline,
> E is for eyesight, can't read that top line!
> F is for fissures and fluid retention,
> G is for gas which I'd rather not mention.
> H is high blood pressure--I'd rather it low;
> I is for incisions with scars you can show.
> J is for joints, out of socket, won't mend,
> K is for knees that crack when they bend.
> L is for libido, what happened to sex?
M is for memory, I forget what comes next.
> N is neuralgia, in nerves way down low;
> O is for osteo, the bones that don't grow!
> P is for prescriptions, I have quite a few,
> just give me a pill and I'll be good as new!
> Q is for queasy, is it fatal or flu?
> R is for reflux, one meal turns to two.
> S is for sleepless nights, counting my fears,
> T is for Tinnitus; there's bells in my ears!
> U is for urinary; big troubles with flow;
> V is for vertigo, that's "dizzy," you know.
> W is for worry, NOW what's going 'round?
> X is for X ray, and what might be found.
> Y is another year I'm left here behind,
> Z is for zest that I still have-- in my mind.
>
> I've survived all the symptoms, my body's deployed,
> And I am keeping twenty-six doctors fully employed!!!

6 Comments:

At Wed Aug 01, 02:01:00 PM CDT, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Aint that the truth.

 
At Wed Aug 01, 02:09:00 PM CDT, Blogger Debbie V said...

Well its not 26 Drs but it inches up every year

 
At Wed Aug 01, 10:03:00 PM CDT, Blogger Steve Qmouse said...

LOL amen to all that. GOLDEN YEARS? OH YEAH!!!! I run to the bathroom and then pee in morse code. Isnt it great LOL......Cyas

 
At Wed Aug 01, 10:08:00 PM CDT, Blogger Sheri Shoff said...

The M for memory is troubling but true. My H is Hot flashes! Wheweee.

 
At Thu Aug 02, 08:40:00 AM CDT, Blogger LindaWright said...

DaQman - Glad to see you on here again. You are a nut!

 
At Sun Aug 05, 09:36:00 AM CDT, Blogger Deb Parsons Mooney said...

This is so cute but sadly, so true! Getting older sure beats the alternative as my Dad used to say but it's not quite the fun I'd hoped for!

 

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